It must be a rite of passage of sorts... I wrote my first crack-pot, strongly-worded product letter today. A whole exciting world of being a cantankerous old geezer is opening up in front of my very eyes!~ Enjoy...
July 22, 2007
Newman’s Own
246 Post Road East
Westport, CT 06880
Dear Sir or Madam:
A pleasant Sunday lunch. I had just downed the last bite of mixed greens salad, topped with my favorite Newman’s Own Light Honey Mustard dressing, when I noticed a story printed on the back-label, just above the list of ingredients.
“Oh, look,” I said to my wife, “How neat! The Great Salad Dressing Balloon Race.” Delighted by this discovery of a bit of wit on the normally staid confines of a condiment label, I began to read the story aloud to my wife.
We followed the starters gun through the zany race, and laughed with El Piloto as he “quaffed mucho quaffs” of Newman’s Own. The story danced with silliness until we arrived at the line, “A medium light Italian starlet, daughter of Butch Cassidini, named Bitch Cassidini, leaps into the balloon basket,…”
Our smiles and laughter faded away. “Heh, heh,” we tried to chuckle, “How weird?” But we both knew: Newman’s Own had crossed the line.
Newman’s Own, you introduced a derogatory, misogynistic, and thoroughly unnecessary term into our Sunday lunch. You betrayed our trust and the sanctity of our dinner table. And to what end? To complete a weakly amusing pun on Paul Newman’s Butch Cassidy character? For shame!
We have little leverage over you. All we possess is our buying power, and with that we will be forced to buy an inferior product from Kraft or Wishbone until you recognize your wrongs and make amends.
At a minimum, you should put an apology on your website and change the label on all future production runs. But if you really cared about your customers, you would take the initiative to also do a full product recall of all the bottles that bear this offensive phrase.
It’s a shame to see a company that is so charitable in its operations do something so uncharitably offensive in its marketing. I hope you will take this opportunity to recover and do what is right.
Sincerely,
Brent Applegate
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7 comments:
How weird and grossly inappropriate. My indifference curve toward Newman's Own has dramatically right-shifted.
My eyes have dramatically right-shifted, and continually right-shifted until they rolled right back into their proper spot.
was that comment directed toward my own words, or Newman's Own?
i don't know anything about shifty eyes, but the letter is great Baby!
I think you're overreacting. It's friggin' salad dressing! If your idea of a fun Sunday lunch is reading product packaging aloud to your wife, you need a hobby. If I was an employee and Newman's Own, I would have put this letter up in the lunch room, because something that corny couldn't possibly be serious
I was shocked when I read this label just now. I mean, really:
"A medium light Italian starlet, daughter of Butch Cassidini, named Bitch Cassidini, leaps into the balloon basket, kisses Piloto, her lips smeared with Newman's Own Light, she murmurs, 'You taste of Sicily, of Vesuvius, of Naples, baby', and patting his fanny she whispers, 'and no fat.'"
What the heck were they thinking?
I was shocked, too - especially as, in the UK, "fanny" refers to a woman's, er...front bottom. Let's hope they don't export this stuff. I'll be penning my own letter to Newman's Own. Thanks for taking a stand!
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